Today is your wedding day.
You thought today was going to be different. You thought today would be the day that you dreamed of your whole life.
I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, and ruin what you may have had in mind for today. But you called off your wedding all those days, and weeks, and months ago. So today is not going to be the day you dreamed of. In fact, that dream may never come to fruition. But it’s okay.
Today you will feel an endless reel of emotions. You’ve probably felt them in the days, and weeks, and months leading up to this day. You’ll probably still feel them afterward. But it’s okay.
You’re going to hit that moment where you’re happy. Happy because, let’s be real, you may have just dodged a bullet. Happy because you are leading yourself on a much better path than you were a year, two years, three years ago. You’re taking new steps, and leading a new life. You might not have thought that this is where life would take you. But it’s okay.
You’ll be angry. Angry that your dream was taken away. Angry that someone put you in this situation. Whether it was you that called off the wedding, or your significant other – you’re going to be angry. Angry because you put so many hours of work into this day. This day that now you’re spending not in a white dress. Not with your hair and make up done. Not with some pretty shoes on your feet. There’s nobody that’s going to be following you around with a camera documenting your whole day. There’s nobody that is going to sit and witness you stand up and give your life, your heart, your love to someone. And you worked fucking hard to get there. It makes you so angry. But it’s okay.
The worst emotion that will hit you today? Sadness. You did lose a dream. And you did lose the person you thought was going to be the person. Your person. Your lobster. Your soulmate. Everything. You thought they were going to be yours forever, and now they’re not. And you know what? That sucks. It really does. And it hurts. And it causes this pain in your chest that makes you go, “Am I having a heart attack?” But you’re not. Your heart is broken, and it hurts. But it’s okay.
I want you to know that it’s okay to cry today. No matter what the reason. Happy, angry, sad, and every other feeling in between. It’s okay to cry. For the loss of your dream, of your loved one, of your relationship, of your future. All of it. Don’t ever feel sorry for the fact that you’re crying today. Because you need to cry. You need to let it out. And grieve. And mourn the loss. But it’s okay.
Because whether you came from a broken relationship, a loveless relationship, a great relationship, a rocky relationship, the best relationship, your only relationship, your favourite relationship, an abusive relationship – no matter which one – it’s still a loss. Because at one point, you had exactly what you had dreamed of, and what you had wanted. You said yes to that engagement, to that promise of the future. And it’s gone now. But it’s okay.
One day, you’ll look back at this all and go, “Man, that time in my life was the hardest thing I ever went through.” But it’s made you ten times the person you ever were. It’s made you ten times stronger. Ten times happier. Ten times everything. You’ll be older, and wiser, and happier. And you’ll remember why. And every year, on the anniversary of what would’ve been your wedding day, you’ll remember it. You’ll remember all the emotions you felt on this day. And you’ll be thankful that you let yourself feel it all. Because it made you, you. And that’s more than okay.