Oh My Thoughts: Online Dating

Imagine this. It’s Wednesday. You’re enjoying your day. And then you hear it. The ding of one of your dating apps. And you’re like – awesome! Someone messaged me back or messaged me first. Basically, you’re excited because online dating isn’t easy, and so progress is progress, right?


You open your phone to three messages. All from the same person.

Them: heyy ‘)
Them: 🙂 cutie
Them: *dick pic*

Yes, you read that right. Now, I’ll be honest – this isn’t the first time I’ve received an unsolicited dick pic. And I know I’m not the first person to ever receive an unsolicited dick pic. Usually, I would see the message, go “ew” out loud, and delete the message and ignore any future messages from this person. So I snapped a screenshot to send to my friends to be like “ugh what is my life”, and after I did so, I got another message from him.

Them: u like it? lol

No, no sir I do not. And so I told him that. I told him that unsolicited dick pics were not a turn on, and told him that he shouldn’t be sending girls dick pics unless they asked for them. And then I told him to have a nice life.

When did guys start thinking it was appropriate to send dick pics? I posted about this guy to my story on instagram, and the amount of response from women in my life was insane. So many others have received messages like this, and it’s like – why? What goes through a guys mind to make him think that this is something that we want? I don’t want unsolicited dick pics. Not now, and likely not ever. Maybe when I’m in a long term relationship with someone and we are dealing with some long distance or something… but really, they’re unnecessary. So when did the memo go around that they were the thing to send girls? Because, newsflash, they aren’t.

And to the girls that enjoy these, I have to ask. Why? Why do you enjoy unsolicited dick pics? Do they turn you on? Does it make you think “Man, this guy has the confidence that I need in a man.” Because I highly doubt it.

There have to be girls out there that enjoy it, because why else would guys keep sending it? Or maybe it’s been our lack of response over the years to the unsolicited pictures. Maybe we’ve stayed silent for too long. I’m not trying to go all girl power here (although I do love me some girl power), but perhaps we need to stop disregarding when men say or do something we don’t like when online dating (or really, in general). And this goes for men with women too, or men with men, and women with women, or them with them – let us know when we do something wrong. None of us are going to learn from our mistakes if the other person doesn’t say something.

How is Johnny going to know that his dick pic was unwelcome if we don’t tell him when he sends it? Because if we just ignore it, he will just move on to the next unsuspecting victim and send them the same photo. And it aint right, fellas. It. Ain’t. Right.

So be forewarned, fellas. Next time that unsolicited pic comes my way, I’m going to let you know my thoughts on it. And I guarantee you, they won’t be good. And to the next fella, I might not be so nice and black out your name on social media. Or maybe I’ll be like that girl on social media (wish I remembered your profile) who digs into the background of these a-holes and finds their mother on social media and lets them know what their son is up to.

When you’re about to hit ‘send’ on that unsolicited picture next time, just remember these three words: It. Ain’t Right.

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