alzheimers

Living With Alz Series: The Biggest Change Of All

What a whirlwind of a week. One week. A lot can happen in a week.

I did want to have a lot more in this series before it got to this, but the series is just going to have to go back and forth now. Between the past, and the present. Between the build up, and where our lives are now. Everything changed for us last Friday. Because last Friday, we got the call that we have been waiting for, but (at least maybe in my part) secretly hoping wouldn’t come.

You see, back in December, our family came to the very difficult and heart-wrenching decision to put my mom on a critical wait list – for a bed in a long term care home. We had talked about it for the longest time. Small parts of conversations where we would casually make a comment about “when mom is in a home” and things like that. But it was never definite. We had never set a timeline of when it was happening. Until we did.

For the first month, I waited by the phone with baited breath. Every phone call – every time my dad’s damn phone went off, I paused. Literally. What I was doing. Whatever TV show I was watching. Whatever music I was listening to. I’d stop. And I’d listen. Who was it? What did they want? Was there a bed? Christmas passed, and nothing. January passed, nothing. Each month went by, and I got less on edge, and more hoping that the call wouldn’t come. That I would have more time with her. That I would still get to see her every day, whenever I wanted. She would always be there. Just within arm’s reach.

But at the same time, I knew how important it was for her to be in a long term care home. They were designed to help. There were people who went to school, studied, to take care of people just like my mother. They were hired to do this job. To take care of her. To help her. And while my dad was doing a fantastic job of taking care of her (he would go above and beyond for her), he also has his own life to live. He had become restricted to the house. He had become a 24/7 caregiver, and whether he will admit it or not, it was taking a toll on him. So when our Care Coordinator came in December, she had a good talk with dad, and the decision was made. Onto the wait list we went.

On Friday, the call came. On Friday, we were told we had five days. Mom was moving in on Tuesday.

I’m not going to talk too much about how that day went. I will tell you that it’s a good place. The people are really nice, and it feels home-y and not hospital-y. They will take excellent care of her, and we can visit any time we want. It’s a good place. And the decision was the best decision we could have made. For everyone.

It was a whirlwind of a week. Our whole world changed in one week.

 

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