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Oh My Dating: It’s Hard, And It’s Not Fun

Dating is hard. Dating isn’t fun. It’s supposed to be, but let’s be real – it’s not. The “first date” is the worst. Coffee? Drinks at a bar? A walk by the lake? Those are standard first dates. But they’re the worst. At a coffee shop? Eventually your coffee gets cold or you’ve drank it too fast. At a bar? You hit the point where either you’ve nursed your drink, or you know you can’t have another drink because you’re about to embarrass yourself. And the walk by the lake? You can only tell your life story for so long.

Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes those dates can be great. Sometimes you just have this great connection with someone and you know you could sit across from them at that Tim Horton’s and listen to them talk all day long. Sometimes you meet someone in the parking lot of your local plaza while out with your friends and you end up dating for two years. But then you get the guy that looks at the sign for Tim Horton’s while you’re standing outside of his car and he goes, “Tim Hortons. What were they thinking when they thought coffee?”

You get the guy that foams at the mouth a bit – in a way that he’s not dying on the spot, but it’s just creepy. You get the one that you don’t even make it to a date because you don’t respond to him for a day and he loses it and calls you all sorts of very uncalled for names. Hello, there’s a thing called a job. I have one. And I can’t always be on my phone, or on a dating app for that matter, while at work.

Not all first dates are bad. Some first dates you go for a walk around your neighbourhood, showing off where you grew up. You go for a drive and he gets to show off his car (because you know how guys get with their cars). You get those dates where you hit up a cute little restaurant in downtown Toronto that makes you feel like you’re in an entirely different city because it’s just that good of a date.

But, I’ll be honest. The majority of my first dates have been tipping more on the crap scale than the good scale. Sometimes I wonder if it’s me. And then I wonder if it’s just the way we meet people these days. If we don’t spend enough time talking before hand and we jump so quickly into seeing each other face to face. We don’t know anything about each other so it just makes it awkward, and then the date feels weird. But if that was the case, blind dates would have never worked in the first place. And they’re a thing. Not much of a thing these days. But they’re a thing. They were before dating apps. Can we bring back blind dates? Friends setting each other up?

It’s all become making sure you have the best selfie, or the best night out photo, or beach photo, on your dating profile. It’s making sure you say the right things before they even send you a message. How is that even being real? We are judging books by their cover. I wish there was no cover. Just a quick plot rundown on the back of the book that we had to read and that’s it. You don’t like who I am by the details? That’s fine. But I’d rather that be what you judge than if I’m wearing a cute bikini.

Is there a way to make dating fun again? Am I thinking too much into it? Have I gotten so negative in my “old” age? I’m only 28, but have I let myself become this negative Nancy to the point where I can’t even enjoy coffee with someone anymore? Maybe it’s because I’ve just done that routine so many times. Can we change the background? Different backdrop.

Whats your ideal first date? I think I’m dropping the ball on this one.

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